DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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