Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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