I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
People in love make me want to vomit
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
