Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
