The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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