i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
