i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
