How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
