For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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