I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
