Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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