yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
