I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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