I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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