In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
