is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We need to get me chipped asap
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
