Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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