pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
