have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He better not be in your backpack
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
not ubering you a puppy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
