im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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