his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
