do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
