I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
