I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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