Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
