I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
