Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
