Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
