great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
