Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Holy sore nipples Batman
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
