At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
