I don't think brook has ever known best
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
