I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
