If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
