So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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