who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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