Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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