I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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