were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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