I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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