I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
