Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
