how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
