Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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