I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
