I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
