my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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