Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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