Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.