Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet http://tfl.nu/je6a
  Replies (30) Good night (1062) Bad night (8867)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  why do cheetos always look like penises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): why do cheetos always look like penises http://tfl.nu/nqxj
  Replies (41) Good night (3806) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job. http://tfl.nu/hof0
  Replies (15) Good night (3055) Bad night (1680)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar http://tfl.nu/g47h
  Replies (7) Good night (1955) Bad night (1314)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me. http://tfl.nu/lzgg
  Replies (4) Good night (2118) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf? http://tfl.nu/6kzv
  Replies (6) Good night (1447) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/sboa
  Replies (15) Good night (1757) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA? http://tfl.nu/rcz7
  Replies (16) Good night (1002) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married. http://tfl.nu/rsec
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober? http://tfl.nu/4zoo
  Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life http://tfl.nu/r9i3
  Replies (7) Good night (292) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse. http://tfl.nu/h54v
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off. http://tfl.nu/1ls6
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help. http://tfl.nu/1bsh
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy http://tfl.nu/032a
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (209)

Randomize