No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
