Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

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  (815): Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me http://tfl.nu/z1h9
  Replies (2) Good night (1120) Bad night (522)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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  (508): I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day http://tfl.nu/qyf0
  Replies (30) Good night (3871) Bad night (1017)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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  (201): i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds. http://tfl.nu/tub0
  Replies (12) Good night (3065) Bad night (711)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay

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  (919): she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay http://tfl.nu/hwso
  Replies (13) Good night (3232) Bad night (743)
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  (650): View more from California

  It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.

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  (650): It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water. http://tfl.nu/g5w6
  Replies (14) Good night (767) Bad night (2630)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.

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  (973): do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again. http://tfl.nu/k33f
  Replies (4) Good night (1335) Bad night (2372)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor

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  (574): I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor http://tfl.nu/63e2
  Replies (1) Good night (870) Bad night (1155)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.

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  (740): Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dou8
  Replies (8) Good night (1324) Bad night (493)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...

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  (510): I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant... http://tfl.nu/doz4
  Replies (17) Good night (583) Bad night (1786)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours

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  (203): I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours http://tfl.nu/8ktt
  Replies (9) Good night (1782) Bad night (523)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"

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  (631): I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good" http://tfl.nu/jrza
  Replies (13) Good night (1783) Bad night (806)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.

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  (757): You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part. http://tfl.nu/w83y
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (311)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.

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  (406): The golf course isn't that incognito for sex. http://tfl.nu/qp54
  Replies (5) Good night (446) Bad night (278)
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  (760): View more from California

  That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill

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  (760): That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill http://tfl.nu/s1si
  Replies (0) Good night (425) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?

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  (256): We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break? http://tfl.nu/kbd5
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (253)

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