I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
