where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober