My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the condom got lost in my hair
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic