He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
