And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.