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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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• (+44): View more from England

  Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter

  (323): View more from California

  yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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• (310): View more from California

  At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (334): View more from Alabama

  Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex

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• (661): View more from California

  Are you okay?

  (1-661): View more from California

  I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!

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• (716): View more from New York

  ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.

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