Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
