Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
