oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
