We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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