Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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