i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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