I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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