was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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