It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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