i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize