Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
