So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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