They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
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It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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