We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
