I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
