apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
