You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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